7 Things you Shouldn’t do When Apologizing

We all know how the saying goes – “to err is human…” Going by that ideology, it is only normal for you to get on the nerves of your loved ones. It could be your wife, girlfriend, child(ren), friend, etc. Regardless of who it is, they deserve an apology when you cross their path. However, sometimes, while apologizing, people make mistakes. The truth is that it’s not always as simple as a casual “I’m sorry.” There are some things you shouldn’t do when apologizing. In this article, we’ll be listing out the don’ts of apologizing.

What are the things you shouldn’t do when apologizing?

In the true sense of it, there are several things you’ll generally want to avoid when you’re apologizing to someone. However, that list is quite long. As such, we’ll be focusing on the seven most important don’ts of apologizing. They are:

1. Do not be passive aggressive

This is the surest sign that you aren’t actually sorry for what happened, you still want to get your own pound of flesh, and you’d much rather just point fingers in their direction. It won’t help you to get their forgiveness. Maybe some resentment, but definitely not their forgiveness. Instead, learn how to communicate and how to do it effectively.

2. Do not insult their intelligence

A common way people do this is by simply describing the offence. Afterward, they hope it would translate to an apology. This is definitely something you want to avoid. If the other person picks up on it, you might not like the result.

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3. Do not be impatient

Depending on how bad your offense was, the chances are that the person needs sometime to process what you’ve said. Don’t rush them into forgiving you and don’t try to squeeze out a response. Be patient.

4. Do not use the word “but”

Someone once said that everything before the word “but” is nullified by its very existence. If you apologize and then say “but” afterward, it’ll hint at you being dishonest with the apology.

5. Don’t make excuses

If the person gives you an apology in return or they don’t, ensure that you don’t excuse your actions. Nobody really likes those. It shows that you’re not ready to take responsibility for your actions as a man.

6. Don’t be lazy about it

A heartfelt apology is always better than a simple “I’m sorry” to get off the hook.

7. Don’t try to make unnecessary jokes

Sometimes, it works. You can make a joke, get other person smiling, hug (or whatever is appropriate for your relationship with them) and live happily ever after. However, it’s a risk I’d advise you against. It can backfire.


Saying sorry goes beyond just that word. You have to mean it and you have to avoid some things. When you finally make up with the person you offended, ensure that you don’t go back to your sins.

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